For a while now I have been struggling to keep up with my resolve to write or paint something new whenever time permits or health blows apart. Just so I can keep adding stuff here, keep things constructive even if mundane and keep this website going. Most days, I don’t find the time. Sometimes, I only manage to write a few lines. Like this one here. I wanted to expand on this poem… But after (I don’t know how long it has been since I wrote it) looking at it and trying to add a verse to it for about a full, solid minute, the only inspiration that struck was, “Fuck it!”
So,there you have it. That’s the origin story of this post! Also, the thing about adding creative content on social media and blogs is that you are supposed to engage with other people’s content as well. I used to think that that was one of the two ways to increase your followers, the other being the quality of content. But I have been a while on Instagram and I gradually found out that unlike big boobs and toned, cellulite-free thighs, quality is overrated. Since I rarely have the time to post my content, I never have the time to engage with others. At least that’s the reason I give myself when I see the number of views on my social media platforms. You gotta keep coming up with fancy arguments to keep the Ego happy, people!
That’s been my general attitude to writing poetry lately. Same goes for drawing. I have this huge project coming up in February and I’m already freaked out by how little prep I have done. One might say it goes with the field I chose but hey, it’s my website which means I am allowed to have a full-scale panic attack before I go ahead and slay my demons. Yes, I said it. I said the first cliché that popped into my head and I’m only 80% ashamed. Hah! Take that inner monsters!
You might ask why the heck am I telling you all this? Well, because I thought that if I suddenly deleted my website, without any warning to the two people out there who do take the time to visit my posts, they might feel a tiny bit concerned (hey, one can hope empathy still exists!) and most definitely, a little sad by the void left by my kooky poems and even kookier art!
I am still not entirely sure whether I should or would delete the website. At this point I’m sporting a dark, defeatist attitude toward the world in general and now, toward managing Time as well. It might be just a temporary state of mind. Have you ever felt doing away with social media altogether? Anyway, I wish you, you who took the time to patiently get through this rambling series of thoughts, a wonderful weekend. 🙂
Disclaimer: In the “rant” above, the writer was being facetious. Neither does she hold anything against big boobs and well toned, cellulite-free thighs. Also, while writing this disclaimer, the writer found it incredibly satisfying to refer to herself in the third person. That was until, she was reminded of sharing this eccentric trait with an orange shell of a man occupying the highest office in a country which strangely never ever shies away from calling itself the “leader” of the world even as it keeps getting caught while desperately trying to give itself a blow-job! 🙄