Some bonds forged in sweet cauldron of random chance wither slower than does a titian star. Seasons will change and mute they could stand, as if for eternity, at the horizon of your being. Dumb and deaf, never becoming more than a passing resemblance of a time when they were your everything, yet not ever dissolving into nothingness for when they arose, with each trepidation of love, loss or, another flicker of hope, you irreversibly transmuted and now even from afar, they remain an infrangible part of you. Like a bittersweet chapter making your story better than it was before.
Today was the first time I realized that this lockdown has taken a serious toll on my work productivity. I use an app to chart my progress on a daily basis and it’s kind of like a game where the number of hours you work helps you level up (no, it’s not as boring as it may sound!) Plus, you can track the stats on a weekly basis (And who doesn’t love doing that? Just me? Okay!) But a month ago I was crushing it and now I am sitting on the lowest level! And yes, it was a gradual decline but I kept thinking I could break the mental limbo that was settling in but I think I have finally started to feel kind of crazy. This in no way is meant to minimize the preventative measures against the pandemic but only that this whole thing is getting really weird to cope with. And I had high hopes for myself too. In fact, going into the lockdown, internally I was kind of being cocky that this will be easier for me given that I am used to working long hours in seclusion. Couldn’t have been more wrong! So here I am writing poetry after poetry and it’s been an effort not to post it here as often as I have been writing. Or, not to use social media as often as I want to but as much as I have tried to avoid it, now I am familiar with the term ‘K-pop Stans’ who, by the way, are amazing people for the work they have been doing! Look em’ up! 🙂
Hope you have been doing better than I am.