I wouldn’t know why their faiths never run

out of reasons to burn bright

Or maybe I do – And bright they do burn –

For they all shine like festival of lights.

Every scout at each turn

drunk on strength in numbers, tells me 

the only way to be is devout

when cast beneath their hypocrisy

are shadows warning of a turnabout

Or so I see…

Believing to know better, I walk away

in search of your mighty River

to rinse this living’s vicious gray.

Hope hangs above – a crescent sliver

And path’s beguiling a doomsday

Still I call your Name – from dawn to dusk till daybreak –

like a hymn on my bloodied lips,

count it on prayer beads with the ache

thrumming between my fingertips,

while your welts grace deeper – like you say – for my sake.

Lingering on starlight are promises

of a forever quiescence if I take your hand

So willingly I tie the blindfold, surrendering to your abyss

Till home begins to feel a foreign land

And familiarity tastes as if an intruder’s kiss.

But if this worship has brought me any closer

it is only to my Death 

And now when your love reveals itself a poser,

truth soughed out like on a dying man’s breath

for Silence never does grant salvation of closure

So now

just another rotting tenant in a lonesome grave,

I wonder if it is as simple as branding

myself the knight and you a knave?

So now

decaying as sand pitter-patters like the rain

I wonder if it really is a misunderstanding 

to call it a love if I have only ever loved you for the pain?


2 thoughts on “Apostasy

Add yours

    1. That last line can be interpreted in two different ways and whichever the Reader chooses is the correct one. 🙂 Loving pain isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and is only healthy when it’s a consensual act.
      Thank you for reading 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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